Category Archives: Uncategorized

This is a song that Dylan and a boy he met in treatment wrote in 2018. He was at Family First Treatment Center in West Palm Beach, Florida, the first long-term treatment facility he had been to since all of this started in 2016. This center is significant to me as it was the firstContinue reading ““I Waste My Time””

I’ve often wondered why it’s been so difficult for me to trust my decisions when it comes to my son. Why I seek the “right” answer to any and every situation that arises between us because I just don’t feel confident in my “in the moment” decisions. But then I realized, therein lies (part of)Continue reading “Ode to Boundaries”

(A story from “The Big Book”, some words changed) Our behavior is as absurd and incomprehensible with respect to the first drug we use as that as an individual with a passion, say, for jay-walking. He gets a thrill out of skipping in front of fast moving vehicles. He enjoys himself for a few years,Continue reading “The Jaywalker Parable”

So, I was at the gym this morning. (That, in itself, is a victory for this once home-bound, totally introverted, sit in the dark and worry about my son – kinda gal.) Anyway, this isn’t a gym you walk into, alone, and sneak to a treadmill in the back (hoping no one comes in) –Continue reading “Never Stop Right Before the Finish Line!”

We Didn’t Cause it Most of us have heard our adult child defend their using with statements like “I only use because of the way you treat me”, or “I use because I’m always worried”, or “You don’t love me, that’s why I use”, or “I’m not using to get high, I’m just trying notContinue reading “Passing on Some ‘Alanon’”

There’s something to be said about the old adage, “we create what we fear”. When it comes right down to it, our way of being in this world is driven by fear … fear of rejection, failure, never being “as good as ____”. Add a child into the mix and we experience a whole newContinue reading “When You’re Lost in the Dark”

I used to think it was easier for parents who understood their kids to connect to them and parent them out of making the same bad choices. I realize now, that understanding my son’s issues throughout his life has made parenting him harder. I know what it’s like to have a brain that doesn’t letContinue reading “Turn the Mirror Around!”

How do YOU feel when the phone rings? Is it like any other call … check to see if it’s spam before answering? Not a BIG deal, more like a “WHO is calling and not just texting?” lol I remember those days, even though they feel like a lifetime away. Now, ANY phone call sendsContinue reading “Change Your Tone!”

Is this picture tough to see? How does it make you feel? Sad? Mad? Indifferent? It has rattled my world since I came across it 2 days ago. So much so, I haven’t been able to make sense of the whirlwind swirling around in my mind – it’s felt chaotic, restless … insane. I’ve feltContinue reading “Pull it out by the Roots”

It seems so strange to “have a life” beyond my son’s struggles. For far too long my happiness, my day, my way of being in this world, was solely dependent on how he was doing. His struggles became my pain. His choices became my problem. His chaos became my downfall. If it weren’t for aContinue reading “A Little Whine Goes a Long Way”